Your brand, on my butt.
Your logo travels with me, on the founder's other premium real estate.
Tap any spot to place a bid. It's a render. Relax.
I'm monetizing the one asset I actually built this year: 18 months of squats.
The gym, the pool, the sauna, TechCrunch Disrupt, the quote tweets… your brand, seen where it has never been seen before.
The auction, live.
Every spot shows its current top bid. Spots from $120 Small · $200 Medium · $400 Cheek-wide, with a premium for the Tramp Stamp. Outbids move in $10 steps.
| Spot | Size | Held by | Current bid | Action |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 👑 The Tramp Stamp | Cheek-wide · 9.5 × 5.5 cm | open | from $600 | |
| Left Cheek | Cheek-wide · 9.5 × 5.5 cm | open | from $400 | |
| Right Cheek | Cheek-wide · 9.5 × 5.5 cm | open | from $400 | |
| Left Hamstring | Medium · 9.5 × 4 cm | open | from $240 | |
| Right Hamstring | Medium · 9.5 × 4 cm | open | from $240 | |
| Waistband West | Medium · 9.5 × 4 cm | open | from $200 | |
| Waistband East | Medium · 9.5 × 4 cm | open | from $200 | |
| Left Hip | Small · 4.5 × 4.5 cm | open | from $120 | |
| Right Hip | Small · 4.5 × 4.5 cm | open | from $120 | |
| The Fine Print | Small · 4.5 × 4.5 cm | open | from $120 |
How it works
Pick your spot
Ten zones in three sizes, priced by visibility and… topology. All bids in dollars.
Win the bid
A 20% deposit (minimum $10) by card holds your bid. Outbid? Refunded automatically, in full. Win, and it counts toward your price.
Your logo rides along
Artist-grade waterproof temporary tattoo, worn at the gym and at SF founder events, photographed tastefully. Weekly pics on X for 30 days, your brand tagged.
What the money buys.
Here are the exact specs. The asset was not cheap.
- Gym membership, annual (the canvas is under construction)
- $720
- Protein, 12 months (the canvas requires materials)
- $840
- Glute-focused coaching program (progressive overload)
- $600
- Waterproof temporary tattoos, artist-grade
- $140
- Physio, for when this inevitably goes wrong
- $300
- Camera tripod + whatever dignity costs these days
- $400
Anything raised past the goal goes to leg day. It's always leg day.
Questions & Answers
›Is this real?
Yes. Unfortunately. Bids are real, deposits are real, winners get invoiced, and the fulfillment happens. This is a loving parody of BrandMyMac.com. Vincent sold his MacBook lid, but I don't have a MacBook lid to sell. I have this.
›What do I actually get?
Your logo printed as a waterproof, skin-safe temporary tattoo in your spot's exact size, worn and photographed tastefully (think gym-shorts waistband, lower back, hamstring: athletic-wear-catalog energy). Photos posted to X weekly for 30 days with your brand tagged. And it travels: I'm in San Francisco this fall for TechCrunch Disrupt and RevenueCat's App Growth Annual, meeting a lot of founders. Your logo comes with me. They will probably never see it. That's what makes it funny.
›Is this SFW?
The site is a render. The photos will be gym-shorts-level, the kind you'd see in any fitness ad. Relax.
›How does payment work?
Bidding takes a 20% deposit (minimum $10), paid by card when you place the bid. If you don't win, it comes back in full, automatically. If you do, it counts toward the price and I send a payment link for the remainder when the auction closes. All bids are in dollars.
›What if someone outbids me?
You get out-cheeked and your deposit is refunded automatically. Come back and bid higher, every spot shows its live top bid.
›Can any brand join?
Almost. I reserve the right to decline anything that would get me kicked out of my gym, my family WhatsApp group, or India. Declined bids get their deposit back in full.
›Why a butt?
Attention is the only currency left and I did squats for 18 months. A MacBook lid gets seen in cafés. This gets seen at the gym, the pool, TechCrunch Disrupt, and the quote tweets. You're reading this, aren't you?
›Can I do this with my own butt?
Legally, I cannot stop you. Spiritually, I already regret starting this.
Hey, I'm Ankit 👋
Founder, indie hacker, and now, apparently, outdoor advertising infrastructure. I saw Vincent fund a MacBook by selling his lid and realized I've been sitting on premium inventory this whole time. Questions, bids, sponsorships? Find me on X.